Darla Dumler

Darla Dumler
Darla Dumler

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Poison


Unforgiveness is the poison you drink every day
hoping that the other person will die.
~ Debbie Ford ~

I saw a man stub his toe on a chair. He proceeded to yell before he became enraged and went back to teach the chair a lesson. He learned the lesson, the chair didn’t feel a thing, and he looked like a fool.

I laughed for a moment before I saw a parallel in my spirit. The chairs we stub our toes on in life can be people, circumstances, or situations that we come across or that get thrown in our path. Our pain can be a surprise and we are left with the choice to react or to act. 

The choice to react is driven out of emotional hurt and anger. We don’t stop long enough to ask or to evaluate the truth from emotions. Our focus is to go back to the chair (person) to inflict equal pain and vengeance. We think we will feel better when we hurt them back, but we all know from experience this doesn’t work. The chair (people) may not even be aware of the pain they caused, but we react anyway.

Our reaction can also be to shut down and stuff the hurt until it festers like an infected wound. It becomes sore, red hot, and full of puss, just waiting to burst. One sore leads to many and join into a cancer of unforgiveness and bitterness that left untreated destroys us from the inside out. 

The choice to act gives us a moment to disconnect from our emotions and look at the painful experience. We have time to evaluate and ask questions before we decide if or how to stop our pain. We can decide if we are going to act negatively in our flesh or look at the person through the eyes of God and forgive them.

The most important reality about forgiveness for me, a believer and disciple of Christ, is found in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” 

Without forgiving others in my heart or releasing and laying my hurt and anger toward another person at the cross, I’m cutting myself away from the forgiveness of God. This is not easy in many circumstances, and it has taken me years to completely forgive people, but God helped me as I trusted in Him. Forgiveness is not for them; it is for your freedom. It doesn’t mean you will forget what happened or that you need to continue an unhealthy relationship with that person. It means you are not bound to them through focusing on the pain they inflicted any longer. You are free. Forgiveness means to “let go” or “to put away.” Most importantly, it is showing our obedience to God and trusting in Him to heal our hurts and the person who made it. 

In the end you must always count the cost. Is holding on to anger, bitterness, and revenge toward another person worth poisoning your heart?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Life Word Theme


A New Year always bursts with resolutions. People make promises and vows they will or will not do. What makes a person carry through or abandon their goals? Is there a different way to set goals for change and growth?

In my life change became growth when I surrendered my heart to God first and allowed His love, grace, and mercy to transform me from the inside out. God molded me over the years through prayer, worship music, and His Word. God is my wisdom and strength, but I have to go through the motions. It’s like having all the ingredients sitting on the counter to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies and yet being unwilling to do the work. Through a constant personal relationship with Christ and pressing on, my internal evolution brings external improvements in my thoughts, actions, and character. 

I confess I’ve made resolutions in the past years only to abandon them, so this year I decided I would pray about one word to live my life by for the whole year to promote new growth. I will focus on my heart motive and attitude rather than a specific action. This year my word is “determined” and my sentence is “I am determined to shine bright for Christ.” My word will act as a compass in my thoughts, words, and deeds. I pray I never stop growing or striving to change to be an excellent daughter of God.

Hebrews 12:1, 2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

I challenge you to find a word for your life this year and put it into a sentence by which you can measure your thoughts, words, and deeds to help you grow. Embrace your opportunity to wake up and start anew.