Break or Bounce

Yesterday I awoke to a beautiful white blanket of snow snuggled around the grass, bushes, and trees. The stark white glow radiated inside the darkness of my bedroom. I went over to the light switch and flipped it on. To my surprise, the room lingered in darkness. The power was out and from the chill in the room, it had been all night. 

I found my cell phone and used its light to lead me to the garage to seek our large emergency flashlight. It was a challenge to gather my clothes, tame my hair, and attempt to apply makeup in hopes I wouldn’t resemble a clown in the light of day. I managed to get myself ready and in the truck headed for my Bible study. 

As I pulled out of the driveway and into our neighborhood, I began to see the damage the beautiful snow created. The trees were bent over on the brink of breaking or bouncing back. The sight of their struggle struck a familiar chord in my soul. Many times in my life I have wondered how much more I could take before I would break. I have made many choices that looked beautiful, pure, and wonderful at the start, but in the end they weighed me down one painful flake at a time. 

 Once I determined to have a personal relationship with Christ and walk with Him daily in my mind, heart, soul, and strength, He helped me make choices that strengthen me. God teaches, trims, and grows me with hands of love and care. At times I may still get loaded down, but I KNOW my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will dust off my branches and lift my leaves skyward just at the right time. With His love and care, I will bear fruit and I will not be defeated in my soul and spirit. I trust Him and that settles everything for me.

Psalm 37:39 NIV
The spacious, free life is from God, it's also protected and safe. God-strengthened, we're delivered from evil— when we run to him, he saves us.

Deuteronomy 31:8 Message

 God is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you. Don't be intimidated. Don't worry.

With Him, it’s much easier to bounce back and not break!

Out of the Pits

² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.   Psalms 140:2-3 NIV

Going through the pits of fear, rejection, abandonment, being devalued, date raped, guilt, shame, 13 years of marital abuse, dealing with substance abuse, divorce, tough love, separation from children, and the deaths of parents wasn’t the least bit pleasant. In my human comprehension, I do not and cannot understand some of these pits. The problem is when you are in a pit you can only hear familiar voices. The voices know the depth of your anguish and truly understand you:  the voice of the one God who created you and wants to deliver you and the voice of Satan who wants to keep you down in the pit and destroy you.

So I, like many others, was at the point of choice. Do I believe and trust myself, an imperfect human who has caused a large portion of my own pain through bad choices, do I trust in another imperfect person or religion, or do I seek to know, trust, and understand the perfect God who created me through His word? 

My way seemed to bring more pain and despair so I chose to seek a true daily personal relationship with God.  Instead of allowing the unanswered questions to plant and grow seeds of bitterness, anger, shame, guilt, and condemnation, I clung to God and received His grace, mercy, love, healing, and courage. I came through the fiery pits refined and stronger. Through Christ’s strength. my painful past life experiences no longer dictate my emotions or joy and peace. They help me learn wisdom and understanding, practice forgiveness, and enable me to connect and encourage others who have the same or similar experiences in their life journeys. 

These heart connections open the door of opportunity to share the hope, freedom, peace, and love I’ve found in Christ. All that Satan had planned for evil and my destruction, God has sanctified and is grooming for the good of others.

What pits have God used for the good?

From Darkness to Deliverance

I once lived in darkness until I opened the door.
I once had no hope until I accepted God and learned there was more.
I thought being a Christian would mean no more pain.
I now realize, like Jesus, my suffering would lead to my character refined again and again.

I closed myself off to protect me and do it my way.
I realized my hard heart kept everyone out, which left me alone in doubt and more pain.
So I opened my heart to God's hope and accepted His love.
I opened my hands and released my burdens to God above.
I sought him out in His word, song, and through others.
I chose to learn, to grow, to accept my refinement and now my heart flutters.
I stand in his strength, because I know mine won't endure and sustain me. I've tried it.
I’m determined to trust and walk with Him daily.

Through his love and healing I truly know I am loved, forgiven, and free to be the best me God has always seen.

Darla Dumler

Finding Friends

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

- Unknown

Last week I went with my girlfriend to a Women of Faith conference in Phoenix. We heard Lisa Welchel, who played Blair in the Facts of Life show in the 1980’s. She shared with us that, to her surprise in her 40’s she found she didn’t know how to be a good friend or find one. Due to her work schedule, starting with the Mickey Mouse Club when she was only 12 and then on to the Facts of Life, she never had the time or opportunity to develop and learn how to choose a good friend or what she needed to do to be a good friend.

She yearned to have closeness with other women who could relate, encourage, cry, and laugh with her. She saw other women with great relationships and those with bad ones. Her longing to help someone on their life’s journey and find someone who would share hers helped her break out of her fears.

She tried it on her own and went through a series of being too much or needy, too expectant, and she shared with an untrustworthy person and got hurt. Next she sought out professional help to learn from her mistakes. She watched for people whose words and actions of love and integrity matched. She sought out women she respected. She worked on her life in this area and accepted women for who they were, without expectations of what they would do and be just for her. She held them with a loose hand and encouraged them where they were. In return, she found her close girlfriends.

Like Lisa, I missed out on the lessons of friendship because my family constantly moved. I would begin to make friends only to find I was leaving again. To avoid this pain, I resisted going any deeper than the surface. I, too, tried on my own and made many mistakes. The hardest thing for me was to be willing to trust my heart to others. Now in my 40’s I have a home and roots taking ground with my church. I have worked on myself so I can now be a good friend. As I learned and grew to seek people I respected and who lived by what they said, I began to trust other good women with my heart.

I love my husband dearly, but he could never understand me like my girlfriends. There is something special about close girlfriends who accept, support, laugh, cry and shop with you. Women and men are wired so differently and it is uplifting and encouraging to be around others who speak the same woman language. God made us social, and it has only been in the last few years that I have awakened and am embracing the true gift of God’s love in friendships.

What does friendship mean to you?