Out of the Pits

² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.   Psalms 140:2-3 NIV

Going through the pits of fear, rejection, abandonment, being devalued, date raped, guilt, shame, 13 years of marital abuse, dealing with substance abuse, divorce, tough love, separation from children, and the deaths of parents wasn’t the least bit pleasant. In my human comprehension, I do not and cannot understand some of these pits. The problem is when you are in a pit you can only hear familiar voices. The voices know the depth of your anguish and truly understand you:  the voice of the one God who created you and wants to deliver you and the voice of Satan who wants to keep you down in the pit and destroy you.

So I, like many others, was at the point of choice. Do I believe and trust myself, an imperfect human who has caused a large portion of my own pain through bad choices, do I trust in another imperfect person or religion, or do I seek to know, trust, and understand the perfect God who created me through His word? 

My way seemed to bring more pain and despair so I chose to seek a true daily personal relationship with God.  Instead of allowing the unanswered questions to plant and grow seeds of bitterness, anger, shame, guilt, and condemnation, I clung to God and received His grace, mercy, love, healing, and courage. I came through the fiery pits refined and stronger. Through Christ’s strength. my painful past life experiences no longer dictate my emotions or joy and peace. They help me learn wisdom and understanding, practice forgiveness, and enable me to connect and encourage others who have the same or similar experiences in their life journeys. 

These heart connections open the door of opportunity to share the hope, freedom, peace, and love I’ve found in Christ. All that Satan had planned for evil and my destruction, God has sanctified and is grooming for the good of others.

What pits have God used for the good?

I’m Not the Potter

 ⁸ Yet you, LORD, are our Father.
   We are the clay, you are the potter;
   we are all the work of your hand.   Isaiah 64:8 NIV

When my kids got a scraped knee my Mom heart wanted to patch up the outside of their pot and make it all better. As they grew up and faced the hurt and pain of abuse, rejection and anger from their father, I wanted to fix their inside pot, their heart.

Over the years I’ve realized even though I wanted to fix them I have no power to do it. I am not the potter or creator; God is. He molds each one of us into a unique individual with a free will. We can add designs, paint, and sparkles to adorn our outside, even while circumstances and situations in life adds scrapes, dents, and cracks.

We also choose with what we fill our pot, our heart, and what will be our focus. When I saw my children make bad choices and fill their pot with negative thoughts and actions, or place themselves in a bad situation, I would share the lessons of my life or give them advice to spare them pain. My motive and heart were to protect, but they saw it as me trying to be a know it all or to manipulate them. They wanted to make their own decisions and exercise their own free will. One of the hardest realities of being a parent is to realize and accept that it’s not my job to fix them.

Jesus is the best model for us. He was responsible to share and reveal truth and light to his family and home town to spare them more pain or hurt. They didn’t listen or embrace his wisdom; instead, they tried to kill him. If Jesus couldn’t share with his own family without rejection, what makes me think I can?  In spite of this, I have spent years believing I could. I now realize it is my job first and foremost to love them and encourage them. When they get too close to danger, it is still my responsibility as Mom to warn them, but the rest is up to them and God.

My need to fix is natural for a mom, but my drive to convince them is not how Jesus loved. He was the example of light and spoke the truth.  He then let people make their own decisions and face their own consequences. He never condemned them or shut the door on his love or forgiveness. My goal is to strive to follow Jesus’ model for the next half of my life. To share my heart in love with healthy boundaries and let God do the rest.

Have you ever tried to mold someone?