The Poison

Unforgiveness is the poison you drink every day
hoping that the other person will die.
~ Debbie Ford ~

I saw a man stub his toe on a chair. He proceeded to yell before he became enraged and went back to teach the chair a lesson. He learned the lesson, the chair didn’t feel a thing, and he looked like a fool.

I laughed for a moment before I saw a parallel in my spirit. The chairs we stub our toes on in life can be people, circumstances, or situations that we come across or that get thrown in our path. Our pain can be a surprise and we are left with the choice to react or to act. 

The choice to react is driven out of emotional hurt and anger. We don’t stop long enough to ask or to evaluate the truth from emotions. Our focus is to go back to the chair (person) to inflict equal pain and vengeance. We think we will feel better when we hurt them back, but we all know from experience this doesn’t work. The chair (people) may not even be aware of the pain they caused, but we react anyway.

Our reaction can also be to shut down and stuff the hurt until it festers like an infected wound. It becomes sore, red hot, and full of puss, just waiting to burst. One sore leads to many and join into a cancer of unforgiveness and bitterness that left untreated destroys us from the inside out. 

The choice to act gives us a moment to disconnect from our emotions and look at the painful experience. We have time to evaluate and ask questions before we decide if or how to stop our pain. We can decide if we are going to act negatively in our flesh or look at the person through the eyes of God and forgive them.

The most important reality about forgiveness for me, a believer and disciple of Christ, is found in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” 

Without forgiving others in my heart or releasing and laying my hurt and anger toward another person at the cross, I’m cutting myself away from the forgiveness of God. This is not easy in many circumstances, and it has taken me years to completely forgive people, but God helped me as I trusted in Him. Forgiveness is not for them; it is for your freedom. It doesn’t mean you will forget what happened or that you need to continue an unhealthy relationship with that person. It means you are not bound to them through focusing on the pain they inflicted any longer. You are free. Forgiveness means to “let go” or “to put away.” Most importantly, it is showing our obedience to God and trusting in Him to heal our hurts and the person who made it. 

In the end you must always count the cost. Is holding on to anger, bitterness, and revenge toward another person worth poisoning your heart?