Gratitude

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~Melodie Beattie

This Thanksgiving a well of gratitude bubbled from my soul. When I recall God’s love, grace, and mercy intertwined throughout my life, I breathe in awe. He entrusted me with every challenge, pain, and lesson that has come to this present great joy, love, and peace I experience daily. What Satan meant for my dismemberment and destruction through guilt, shame, and believing I was unworthy of His love, God is bringing to my good and His glory because I cling to the arms of Jesus. I’m grateful the creator of the universe knitted me in my mother’s womb with a desire to learn, grow, and serve Him.

His blessings abound to me through the love of my husband, second parents and extended family, sibling, children, grandchildren, and friends. I pray I choose to show my gratefulness to God every day for saving my life through my service and witness to bring Him glory. My gratitude is my unique soul song composed over my lifetime. It has only been the last few years that I have found my strong and confident voice to sing. It flows with every beat of my heart and can never be taken away.

What are you grateful for?

My Dead Sea

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 NIV

I saw myself smack dab in the middle of the Israelites’ fear and strife as I read their words of doubt and fear when they asked Moses to turn back because they were caught between the Dead Sea and Pharaoh’s army.

I, too, believed I was trapped in my thirteen year abusive marriage until the abuse escalated to the point of death. I knew I had to leave and not look back or all would be lost, so I escaped with my two sons. During my escape I realized I didn’t know how to live on my own without a man and for a time I questioned if I had done the right thing. You see, I knew my life was bad with my husband, but I knew what it was and wasn’t. When I escaped into the great unknown, my desert, my fear compounded my insecurities, failures, and responsibilities, often to the point of panic. Only through Christ was I able to find the courage to part my Dead Sea and walk over on dry land. I couldn’t do it on my own.  I had tried for many years. I decided I would not turn back but would hold my hands out and command my life to be different through the power of Christ.  Then I walked forward. 

Once I believed, proclaimed, and moved, the chains of fear and doubt fell off one by one. God used other people and His word to reveal the whole truth and help me understand how to keep going. Without stepping out in faith and my willingness to trust in God’s provisions, wisdom, and forgiveness, I wouldn’t have the joyous life I am now privileged to live. It is a process and a journey. With Christ in you, you can do all things.

When have you felt trapped?

Fear Shot Down

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.   1 Corinthians 16:13, NIV

The other night I went to play Haunted House Laser Tag with some friends. We all suited up and for a minute I wondered what I was doing. I hate to be frightened. To make matters worse, I was the last one in our group into the maze. It was at this moment I determined in my spirit to not be afraid. I will defend my people and myself, and I will kill the bad guys. Besides, this is not real. Neither are most fears. I won’t squander another minute on fear in my life for any reason.

Several minutes into the maze of darkness I was tapped on the shoulder by a vampire. I looked at him and said, “Oh, hi,” right before I shot him. My focus was on getting my team and myself out alive. Okay, that is a little melodramatic.  But that melodrama explains why I shot at every bad guy in sight. My position changed many times within the maze. It felt best to be in the middle, protected and secure by people who love and trust me. My position made me aware of the few times in my life I have felt this protection. 

It is much easier fighting the bad guys you can see on the outside. The hardest battle we wage is between our spirit and flesh which never leaves us on this earth. It has taken me 47 years to reach the point where I am spiritually armed and do not allow fear to paralyze me. In Christ we can do all things and He will provide all we need to win the battle. When I rely on, trust, believe, and follow Him, God gives me the peace, confidence, and courage to conquer my day. I rejoice in knowing that God and I will win the war in the end. He is with me in every battle. 

How do you arm yourself for battle?

Fitting the Pieces Together

The other day my four-year-old grandson and I put a puzzle together. First, we put the edges together to find the border of the picture and then I showed him how to match the colors, patterns, and shapes to find the right piece to link with another. He told me he could do it all by himself and set out on his mission. He found two pieces with the same colors and tried to connect them; he soon became frustrated because the pieces wouldn’t connect. I let him continue for a while, and then asked him if he would like my help. At this point he agreed and I showed him how to look for more possibilities by regrouping and maneuvering a piece around. 

Later that evening I realized how much my life resembled a jumbo jig saw puzzle created by God at birth. Like my grandson, I’ve spent too much time focused on my ability to force a piece to fit at all cost. My self-focused decisions and stubbornness resulted in pain and strife. My struggle eventually led me to ask for God’s help. I began a personal relationship with Christ and grew.

The maturity of my walk with Christ has helped me realize only God has all the pieces to complete masterpiece painting He created me to be. The more I strive to find out who Christ is and who I am in Christ, the more I begin to see how I fit into God’s masterpiece. Every experience of my life has taught me something about God, myself, and others. As I rely on Christ’s wisdom, I am released to explore, change, and rearrange the pieces until they connect. Even if the piece was a difficult experience, I didn’t feel the frustration and burden I had when I tried to do everything on my own. My life’s puzzle placement skills are becoming more proficient as I surrender them ALL to Christ. I found my edges, gifts, and the direction God has equipped and entrusted me with to serve Him and others.  The more pieces that connect through trusting God, the more I see God’s colors of love, grace, and mercy in every piece of me even when I didn’t look for Him, see Him, or embrace Him. 

One day my life’s masterpiece puzzle will finally be complete when I stand before Him in glory. Only then will I see the wonder and complete beauty He created in me.  

Psalm 18:20
God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Won’t it be wonderful when we can see the entire picture of God’s masterpiece?