See You Soon

On Monday my Father and Mother in law buried their daughter. She had been ill for many years but the pain and sadness makes my heart hurt. We rejoice in the fact that she is not suffering any longer and one day we will be with her again. This song is met to comfort Jai's family and friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QErgtGA7o0E&feature=fvsr

Pure God Love

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

Bob’s girlfriend had an abortion because her father demanded it. Bob was upset and decided to use his right of free speech. He posed for a pro-choice poster and held an empty blanket with the saying, “Don’t let this to happen to you.” I was asked what I thought about Bob’s right to free speech.

Freedom is a privilege, and a privilege carries responsibility. Just because you have the ability to say or do something, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing to say or do. I believe there is no free speech. All words have life or death in and attached to them. Every word spoken is subject to a good or bad consequence.  We either build one another up or tear one another down. I empathize with the man’s sadness, but he fails to have compassion for his girlfriend. She obeyed her father, and she will most likely feel the pain and loss in her heart until her last breath. Now, because of his poster and free speech, he has publicly humiliated her while she was already brokenhearted and bleeding. Where is his love?

In the end it doesn’t matter about my opinion. What matters most is what God says in His word regarding how we must love one another and ourselves, it is the second greatest commandment. The man’s statement and action doesn’t fit any description of love in the Bible, nor does it fit the dictionary definition, “to liberate and release from pain or unpleasantness.” I would like to think he reacted without taking into consideration all the ripple effects and damage it would create for his girlfriend. Often in our own pain we react and don’t think. God calls us to stop and go to Him so we can choose how to act in love, even when we are in pain, instead of just reacting. Jesus showed us on the cross this could be done, and our pain is nothing close to His.

We all need love, compassion, mercy, and grace. God says we will reap or receive what we sow (Galatians 6:7). I pray and set out to intentionally sow seeds that will grow life, love, joy, and peace. I desire and aim to think of others when I make a decision to stand up and make a statement of my character.

I wonder if we set out every day to show pure God love if we would receive it? What do you think?

To Lead or Follow

To avoid chaos there must be a plan, order or system.

I don’t have the perfect knowledge, wisdom, and power God had when He made the world. He spoke all that is into existence and it worked the first time. Sometimes I have trouble finding the right words or speaking them.

It comforts me to know God has the ultimate plan and He knows what’s best for me. I’m challenged by my human pride, my spontaneous nature, and my desire to take control and lead. Instead of seeking Him first and looking for His soft guidance along the way, I have found myself alone and frantic because I ran ahead. I have learned I can’t put God in a box and carry the box to my destinations, thoughts, and plans without trouble. He cannot be an after-thought. My life is not all about me but about the God who created me. I must trust Him and let Him lead me; I must follow with great anticipation of the good plans He has for me. God lead the Israelites through the desert by a cloud in the day and by fire at night. As I have learned to trust and follow God more with age, my spirit is at peace even in the midst of a storm.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

Trust and follow God and you will see the good He has planned for you.

What chaos have you experienced lately because you want to lead?

I Stumbled

I stumbled this weekend through a path of insecurity and agitation.

Throughout time many strong kingdoms, castles, and fortresses have been attacked and some have been seized. The majority have tumbled and crumbled to dust as a result of the enemies within their very walls. In my life I have found Satan destroys individuals, marriages, and families the same way.

This week I allowed my primary focus to slip off of God and onto myself. My focus on self brought self doubt, criticism, insecurity, and an earthquake to the peace in my spirit. You would think by now I would not go down into this slippery cesspool; instead, I stumbled in.  This stumble reminds me I am human and I can do nothing good without God as my Lord. I can’t serve two masters. Matthew 6:24

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”

It’s either God or me and my sinful nature. I quit taking every thought captive and let my humanness take control which equaled no peace and self destruction.

I am grateful and humbled to serve a God who loves me, forgives me, and redeems me in the midst of my humanness. I will strive to stay the course of God by seeking him first (Matthew 6:33) and I will submit my will to him first and he will direct my path (Proverbs 3:6).  Only then I will keep my peace.

Have you stumbled lately?

The High Road

My heart grows heavy when I see people deceive, cheat, and manipulate others to move themselves farther ahead in life or in a game.

The goodness of God radiated from two individuals who played the game of survivor, Matt and Mike. They helped others, loved, and competed with the utmost integrity and pure heart. Their words matched their actions and many counted them weak and ambushed them. They chose the high road and wrestled with fatigue, doubt, disappointment, hurt, and exile from their tribes. When they were down, they looked to God for strength and answers and left the end result up to Him.

Meanwhile, the rest of the players put their trust in Rob or each other only to be hurt, deceived, and cut away. Their focus was on imperfect humans. Their words were snide and cutting, arrogant, and venomous on occasion. The consistent theme was I, me, and my.

Rob won the money and title of survivor in the end. The title and money can never buy back the integrity, goodness, love, and friendships he lost. These can’t be won or purchased. They are earned from a pure heart.

I believe how we do the little things in our lives is how we do everything. Our actions reveal and reflect what’s in our heart. In my opinion there is never a reason to be mean, ever. The true test of a good person is to have the power to do bad and refuse.

 To anyone who doesn’t know a different life than one of self focus, I encourage you to examine where you are. If the imperfect you is all you have, can you ever be enough? What price have you paid, are currently paying, and will pay in the future? What good is it to gain the whole world and lose your soul for eternity?

Mysterious Pain

Mothers Day ended with intense pain in my stomach and kidneys that lasted through the night. I asked my husband to take me to the Emergency Room for the pain at 6:00 a.m. I underwent blood and urine tests and a CT scan. During my seven hour stay, the doctors gave me two doses of morphine for my pain. In the end they found no reason for the pain or problems and sent me home. I began to wonder if this was all in my head or if I had made a big thing out of a small thing. I know the pain was real and from the looks of my pasty green reflection I was ill, but there was no answer. I went home and went to bed.

This morning I reflected on the times in my life when I’ve had pain inside without being able to give it a name or to cure it. Like yesterday, the unexplained pain affected the trust I had in myself and set me on a path of doubt. I believe Satan did his best to get me to doubt myself and tried and affect my belief in God. When I look to others for answers and there are none I start asking why and I have doubts about myself or what’s going on.

Jesus said it best.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding;   in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV

I have come to the conclusion I was not meant to understand my painful experience. God knows and sees everything and sometimes He tells us or lets others tell us.  Sometimes it remains a mystery. I will praise Him and thank Him in all situations and circumstances, and I will continue to inspire and encourage others. I will do my best to take care of myself and others and let God do the rest. 

What do you do with your unexplainable experiences?

I’m Not the Potter

 ⁸ Yet you, LORD, are our Father.
   We are the clay, you are the potter;
   we are all the work of your hand.   Isaiah 64:8 NIV

When my kids got a scraped knee my Mom heart wanted to patch up the outside of their pot and make it all better. As they grew up and faced the hurt and pain of abuse, rejection and anger from their father, I wanted to fix their inside pot, their heart.

Over the years I’ve realized even though I wanted to fix them I have no power to do it. I am not the potter or creator; God is. He molds each one of us into a unique individual with a free will. We can add designs, paint, and sparkles to adorn our outside, even while circumstances and situations in life adds scrapes, dents, and cracks.

We also choose with what we fill our pot, our heart, and what will be our focus. When I saw my children make bad choices and fill their pot with negative thoughts and actions, or place themselves in a bad situation, I would share the lessons of my life or give them advice to spare them pain. My motive and heart were to protect, but they saw it as me trying to be a know it all or to manipulate them. They wanted to make their own decisions and exercise their own free will. One of the hardest realities of being a parent is to realize and accept that it’s not my job to fix them.

Jesus is the best model for us. He was responsible to share and reveal truth and light to his family and home town to spare them more pain or hurt. They didn’t listen or embrace his wisdom; instead, they tried to kill him. If Jesus couldn’t share with his own family without rejection, what makes me think I can?  In spite of this, I have spent years believing I could. I now realize it is my job first and foremost to love them and encourage them. When they get too close to danger, it is still my responsibility as Mom to warn them, but the rest is up to them and God.

My need to fix is natural for a mom, but my drive to convince them is not how Jesus loved. He was the example of light and spoke the truth.  He then let people make their own decisions and face their own consequences. He never condemned them or shut the door on his love or forgiveness. My goal is to strive to follow Jesus’ model for the next half of my life. To share my heart in love with healthy boundaries and let God do the rest.

Have you ever tried to mold someone?