When Helping Hurts

Roman 12:6-8 Message Bible

 ^6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

God gave me a heart that seeks to help others. Through the years and from scripture I have learned that my desire to help others doesn’t give me the right to plan, orchestrate, or decide for others. I can state facts and lessons I’ve learned in my life and let them know I love them no matter what they choose, but the bottom line is they have to choose and do for themselves.

Herein lays my biggest struggle, to share when I’m asked to or led by the Holy Spirit and then release the outcome to God, especially with those I love. Even when I can see their choices will bring pain, I have to love and support them and allow them to learn, grow, and develop trust in God and themselves. I will cripple them when I interfere with their learning path and in the end hurt them instead of helping them.

God gave each of us the power to choose. As we grow and mature, we realize the responsibility, power, and opportunities that come with it. God calls each of us to Him but many of us choose:

• ·         The rebel road - all on my own
• ·         The glimmering road- that hides Satan’s potholes and decay we fall into
• ·         The familiar road -we wander around continually to avoid the fear of the unknown
• ·         Or we seek God and He shows us the road He built just for us

We often choose to walk many roads throughout our life’s journey to discover who we are with and without Christ. Every mile marker forward builds our faith and illuminates the fact that we cannot find completion, unconditional love, and acceptance apart from God. When we turn to scripture as our GPS, we discover the wisdom in God’s guidelines are clear and humbling. Without these boundaries we go to extremes and end up hurting people or messing up the situation more. Do what you can for yourself and others and give the rest to God.

Have you hurt anyone with what you perceived as help?

The Miracle of Christmas

Luke 2:13, 14

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

 ¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Christmas is the time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. During our Thanksgiving Holiday, I was honored to see The Miracle of Christmas play, by the Sight and Sound Theater in Branson, Missouri .Their display of Jewish customs, traditions, and God’s interaction with His people through the angels transformed the images of this story in my mind.

In early times babies were usually born with the help of a midwife. I always pictured the birth of Jesus as an easy one, but the birth scene took my breath away. In the play Mary began the birthing process and the midwife told her to stop pushing because there were some difficulties. I immediately connected to this scene because my youngest son had his umbilical chord wrapped around his neck. I also had  to stop pushing to let the doctor help us. It’s a terrifying and helpless place to be, one of great prayer and submission.

Mary was encased in the physical reality of the birth and her emotions. The play depicted the spiritual aspect occurring at the same time. High above the stable, Satan plunged down through the sky with his sword pointed towards Mary and baby Jesus. In an instant the Archangel Michael flew through the sky with his sword drawn. With one swift swipe of his blade, he sent Satan reeling through the sky. In the next few moments the sound of the first cries of Jesus were heard and celebrated jointly in the heavenly realms and on earth.

The visualization of the spiritual warfare left me breathless, in awe, and with tears rolling down my face. We get so caught up in the physical reality, perspective, and limits of our live, we often forget the unseen spiritual realm taking place at the same time. God never leaves us. He gave us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us and help us and He even sends angels to watch over and fight for us. 

We were all given a glimpse of the kingdom and love of God’s direct interaction with His children (us) on earth through this play. Blessed be the name of the Lord who came that we might have life forever. I’m so thankful God is always working on my behalf in the physical and spiritual realms. I trust and surrender my will, heart, and life to Him in anticipation of the good plans He has for me. 

I believe in the spiritual realms. What about you?

Gratitude

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~Melodie Beattie

This Thanksgiving a well of gratitude bubbled from my soul. When I recall God’s love, grace, and mercy intertwined throughout my life, I breathe in awe. He entrusted me with every challenge, pain, and lesson that has come to this present great joy, love, and peace I experience daily. What Satan meant for my dismemberment and destruction through guilt, shame, and believing I was unworthy of His love, God is bringing to my good and His glory because I cling to the arms of Jesus. I’m grateful the creator of the universe knitted me in my mother’s womb with a desire to learn, grow, and serve Him.

His blessings abound to me through the love of my husband, second parents and extended family, sibling, children, grandchildren, and friends. I pray I choose to show my gratefulness to God every day for saving my life through my service and witness to bring Him glory. My gratitude is my unique soul song composed over my lifetime. It has only been the last few years that I have found my strong and confident voice to sing. It flows with every beat of my heart and can never be taken away.

What are you grateful for?

My Dead Sea

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 NIV

I saw myself smack dab in the middle of the Israelites’ fear and strife as I read their words of doubt and fear when they asked Moses to turn back because they were caught between the Dead Sea and Pharaoh’s army.

I, too, believed I was trapped in my thirteen year abusive marriage until the abuse escalated to the point of death. I knew I had to leave and not look back or all would be lost, so I escaped with my two sons. During my escape I realized I didn’t know how to live on my own without a man and for a time I questioned if I had done the right thing. You see, I knew my life was bad with my husband, but I knew what it was and wasn’t. When I escaped into the great unknown, my desert, my fear compounded my insecurities, failures, and responsibilities, often to the point of panic. Only through Christ was I able to find the courage to part my Dead Sea and walk over on dry land. I couldn’t do it on my own.  I had tried for many years. I decided I would not turn back but would hold my hands out and command my life to be different through the power of Christ.  Then I walked forward. 

Once I believed, proclaimed, and moved, the chains of fear and doubt fell off one by one. God used other people and His word to reveal the whole truth and help me understand how to keep going. Without stepping out in faith and my willingness to trust in God’s provisions, wisdom, and forgiveness, I wouldn’t have the joyous life I am now privileged to live. It is a process and a journey. With Christ in you, you can do all things.

When have you felt trapped?

Fear Shot Down

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.   1 Corinthians 16:13, NIV

The other night I went to play Haunted House Laser Tag with some friends. We all suited up and for a minute I wondered what I was doing. I hate to be frightened. To make matters worse, I was the last one in our group into the maze. It was at this moment I determined in my spirit to not be afraid. I will defend my people and myself, and I will kill the bad guys. Besides, this is not real. Neither are most fears. I won’t squander another minute on fear in my life for any reason.

Several minutes into the maze of darkness I was tapped on the shoulder by a vampire. I looked at him and said, “Oh, hi,” right before I shot him. My focus was on getting my team and myself out alive. Okay, that is a little melodramatic.  But that melodrama explains why I shot at every bad guy in sight. My position changed many times within the maze. It felt best to be in the middle, protected and secure by people who love and trust me. My position made me aware of the few times in my life I have felt this protection. 

It is much easier fighting the bad guys you can see on the outside. The hardest battle we wage is between our spirit and flesh which never leaves us on this earth. It has taken me 47 years to reach the point where I am spiritually armed and do not allow fear to paralyze me. In Christ we can do all things and He will provide all we need to win the battle. When I rely on, trust, believe, and follow Him, God gives me the peace, confidence, and courage to conquer my day. I rejoice in knowing that God and I will win the war in the end. He is with me in every battle. 

How do you arm yourself for battle?

Fitting the Pieces Together

The other day my four-year-old grandson and I put a puzzle together. First, we put the edges together to find the border of the picture and then I showed him how to match the colors, patterns, and shapes to find the right piece to link with another. He told me he could do it all by himself and set out on his mission. He found two pieces with the same colors and tried to connect them; he soon became frustrated because the pieces wouldn’t connect. I let him continue for a while, and then asked him if he would like my help. At this point he agreed and I showed him how to look for more possibilities by regrouping and maneuvering a piece around. 

Later that evening I realized how much my life resembled a jumbo jig saw puzzle created by God at birth. Like my grandson, I’ve spent too much time focused on my ability to force a piece to fit at all cost. My self-focused decisions and stubbornness resulted in pain and strife. My struggle eventually led me to ask for God’s help. I began a personal relationship with Christ and grew.

The maturity of my walk with Christ has helped me realize only God has all the pieces to complete masterpiece painting He created me to be. The more I strive to find out who Christ is and who I am in Christ, the more I begin to see how I fit into God’s masterpiece. Every experience of my life has taught me something about God, myself, and others. As I rely on Christ’s wisdom, I am released to explore, change, and rearrange the pieces until they connect. Even if the piece was a difficult experience, I didn’t feel the frustration and burden I had when I tried to do everything on my own. My life’s puzzle placement skills are becoming more proficient as I surrender them ALL to Christ. I found my edges, gifts, and the direction God has equipped and entrusted me with to serve Him and others.  The more pieces that connect through trusting God, the more I see God’s colors of love, grace, and mercy in every piece of me even when I didn’t look for Him, see Him, or embrace Him. 

One day my life’s masterpiece puzzle will finally be complete when I stand before Him in glory. Only then will I see the wonder and complete beauty He created in me.  

Psalm 18:20
God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Won’t it be wonderful when we can see the entire picture of God’s masterpiece?